There is only one rule of the universe that I can honestly say makes sense to me. Equilibrium, homeostasis, the Law of Energy and Matter – whatever you want to call it – I get it.
For example:

• The sun is made of gas. It burns. Grass grows. Cows eat grass. Cows get gas. Gas rises up to the sun.
• Celebrities get nominated for awards. They get motivated, go on diets, exercise, and lose weight. I get nominated for an I.R.S. audit. I get depressed, stuff myself with cheese sandwiches and ice cream, lie in bed as a result of deep depression, and find the pounds that they lost.
•The Miss America Pageant takes place in Atlantic City and is broadcast as a major Television Event. Polyester is fashionable, and young women across the United States think its okay to use eyeliner on only half the lower lid. The pageant moves to Las Vegas and becomes part of Country Music Television. Micro fiber becomes fashionable. As far as the eyeliner – go look for yourself.
• My mother and grandmother protect me. I tell them my problems, ask them for direction, and even cry on their laps when things hurt. They kiss the wounds, make the hurt go away, and once in a while guide me with either constructive criticism or an outright smack on the butt. They die. They continue.

I have my doubts about gods and saints, but not spirits. I’ve never seen a burning bush talk, or water turn to wine. I hear Mom and Grandma every day. They give me advice, speed the healing, and even give me an occasional tickle or smack. I know they haven’t left me.

See? I get it. Totally!